The most important lesson I've learned so far this year is "never sprint forward into the dark." No, I didn't bang my head on a low ceiling and knock myself out. I didn't come smashing through a huge window and cut myself all up. No, I didn't accidentally crash into a waiter with 13 plates precariously balanced on a tray (although I did upset a dainty little table full of teacups where some little old ladies were having a tea party.) No, I didn't even accidentally step off a cliff, or fall into a boiling cauldron, or embarrassingly find myself in the ladies restroom.
No, the main reason you never want to sprint forward into the dark is that there is always someone hiding in the shadows with a pie in their right hand which is carefully aligned to act as a catapult toward your face just as you round that corner.
The second most important lesson I've learned so far this year has been how to act dignified at a dinner party when you have pie all over your face.
It is a lesson I am still learning, as there is still pie all over my face. You'd think I'd wash my face, wouldn't you? But I leave the pie there, just so that everyone who sees me will realize I've learned my first lesson, which was "never sprint forward into the dark."
Not to mention, I can have it as a snack later on.