Sunday, May 01, 2005

Paschal Vespers Gospel

The Gospel Reading for Paschal Vespers in a language we can all understand.

Brethren, through the power of the Holy Spirit and with the aid of the online Pig-Latin to English translation tool, I have taken it upon myself to translate the Gospel of Pascal Vespers into a different language that we can all understand. Tired of listening to poorly spoken French? Sanckrit? Russian? Embarrassed about the latest translation of the Paschal Gospel into yet another ancient language that nobody has spoke for a thousand years. Well try the Gospel in Pig-Latin! Yes, now you can boldly proclaim Christ's Gospel in a language that is both completely different, and yet something we can ALL understand!

Here you go folks. Here is the reading from the Holy Apostle and Evanglelist John in Pig-Latin, or should I say "ethay eadingray omfray ethay Olyhay Apostleway andway
Evanglelistway Ohnjay":

Onway ethay eveningway ofway atthay ayday, ethay irstfay ayday
ofway ethay eekway, ethay oorsday eingbay utshay erewhay ethay
isciplesday ereway, orfay earfay ofway ethay Ewsjay, Esusjay
amecay andway oodstay amongway emthay andway aidsay otay emthay
, "Eacepay ebay ithway ouyay." Enwhay ehay adhay aidsay isthay
, ehay owedshay emthay ishay andshay andway ishay idesay. Enthay
ethay isciplesday ereway adglay enwhay eythay awsay ethay
Ordlay. Esusjay aidsay otay emthay againway, "Eacepay ebay
ithway ouyay. Asway ethay Atherfay ashay entsay emay, evenway
osay Iway endsay ouyay." Andway enwhay ehay adhay aidsay isthay
, ehay eathedbray onway emthay, andway aidsay otay emthay, "
Eceiveray ethay Olyhay Iritspay. Ifway ouyay orgivefay ethay
inssay ofway anyway, eythay areway orgivenfay; ifway ouyay
etainray ethay inssay ofway anyway eythay areway etainedray."
Ownay Omasthay, oneway ofway ethay elvetway, alledcay ethay
Intway, asway otnay ithway emthay enwhay Esusjay amecay. Osay
ethay otherway isciplesday oldtay imhay, "Eway avehay eensay
ethay Ordlay." Utbay ehay aidsay otay emthay, "Unlessway Iway
eesay inway ishay andshay ethay intpray ofway ishay ailsnay,
andway aceplay ymay ingerfay inway ethay arkmay ofway ethay
ailsnay, andway aceplay ymay andhay inway ishay idesay, Iway
illway otnay elievebay."

Oryglay otay Eethay, Ohway Ordlay, Oryglay otay Eethay!

And you could add to that a resounding Christ is Risen:

Priest (Iestpray):
Istchray isway Isenray!

The People (Ethay Eoplepay):
Indeedway Ehay isway Isenray!