The other day I purchased a Guillotine
The other day I purchased a Guillotine.
This is my first guillotine, so as you can imagine, I am very excited about it. It came with instructions that are (primarily) in French. Of course, how could you trust a guillotine that had instructions in any other language?
Unfortunately, I don't know French. But there are some sections translated into English and Spanish. Most important, I suppose, are the warnings:
* requires adult supervision
* always operate with the guard rail in place
* do not carry by the blade
* also do not carry by the handle only
* always latch the blade/handle in a closed position when not in use
* do not lubricate the cutting blade
(editorial: now that one doesn't make sense...)
* keep loose fitting clothing away from the cutting blade
My guillotine comes with a nice schematic that has all the parts labeled. Just in case I ever need to take it apart and rebuild it I suppose.
It has rubber feet and a handle with a safety latch and rubber grip.
The guard rail keeps things from flying off in the wrong direction.
The base has a calibrated grid with both "imperial and metric scale guide." Cool. Imperial. I never knew they called the "inch" system "imperial." Makes you almost feel some sort of connection with royalty.
Of course, who wouldn't feel a connection with royalty while using a guillotine?
What's that? Beheadings?
You have a disgustingly lurid sense of imagination, and I am, frankly, shocked by the suggestion. My guillotine is strictly for cutting paper.
Here's a picture from their handy instruction manual:
You see, it all depends on how you look at a thing.
Well, that's about enough for today.