Have mercy upon me a sinner...
By God's grace I awoke around 3:00 AM last night and couldn't go to sleep.
I had this nagging feeling like: "God have mercy on me a sinner." All my sins seemed to weigh heavily on my heart, and spun around in circles in my head.
So, I got up and wrote some poetry. It has been a while since I've done that... 3:00 AM is as good a time as any.
Here's a little snip from last night:
Regards, Basil
The below, all (c) 2003, Basil Miller, All Rights Reserved
* * * * * * *
Walker of Dreams
I am the dancer of shadows
I am the walker of dreams
I am grief strewn across my breast and I am the darkness within
I am the dreamer of sweetness
I am the dance of light
I am the sweet curve of her body and the scent of her breath
I tear and am torn
Burn and am burned
Walking shadows is such sweet sorrow
Riding the dream.
* * * * * * *
Night Spell
1.
This night is too long
It twists and it turns
I awake and feel the darkness moving across my body
Covering me with its deep caress
I shudder and the night trembles
I breathe out a dream
And in comes the night
Crowding the corners of my soul
I twist and I turn
And I am not comforted by the close proximity of my sins
2.
This night is so long
Its twists and its turns
My innocence is dashed against the shadows
It echoes inside my head
I tremble and the night shudders
I speak
And my voice disappears in the dark
Twisted around a single thread of thought
Intertwined with my fears
And I am not dissuaded by the close proximity of my sorrows
Sunday, February 16, 2003
Wednesday, February 12, 2003
Interesting things in space...
I really liked this article on the "ignorosphere" a real place where "elves" and "sprites" and "blue jets" live.
(an article at msnbc)
I'm always finding it interesting to read about amazing things that we as human beings know very, very little about. Space, is of course, one such thing. But here it is our own athmosphere that we know next to nothing about.
Another interesting thing I read recently was the comments and discussion of astronauts at our Space Station in a recent interview with the press:
(a nasa press briefing)
There are a whole bunch of interesting press briefings and memos from nasa on the Space Shuttle disaster here:
http://www.nasa.gov/columbia/
Go to the source, folks. It is so much more interesting than the news-media hype about everything.
Cheers!
Basil
I really liked this article on the "ignorosphere" a real place where "elves" and "sprites" and "blue jets" live.
(an article at msnbc)
I'm always finding it interesting to read about amazing things that we as human beings know very, very little about. Space, is of course, one such thing. But here it is our own athmosphere that we know next to nothing about.
Another interesting thing I read recently was the comments and discussion of astronauts at our Space Station in a recent interview with the press:
(a nasa press briefing)
There are a whole bunch of interesting press briefings and memos from nasa on the Space Shuttle disaster here:
http://www.nasa.gov/columbia/
Go to the source, folks. It is so much more interesting than the news-media hype about everything.
Cheers!
Basil
Tuesday, February 11, 2003
My dear friend, James, over at paradosis.blogspot.com writes:
Veith tells us that postmodernists value diversity and there can be little doubt that the culture creating forces of our society today are striving to ingrain in us the “smiley-happy” slogan that pleads with us to “Celebrate Diversity.” Now, don’t get me wrong I have no qualms with people being diverse, but I am not convinced that it is always something to be celebrated…rather often it might be something we should lament – especially within the church.
James:
It's a great article, but by the way I disagree a little bit about the above.
And here's why...
I believe that the postmodern "rebellion" of individualism that you see in the West is a natural and unavoidable result of the aberrant structure of Western Christianity. Namely, in the West Christianity became a "top-down" religious organization where everything flowed from the Pope and the Magisterium. This created a dynamic in which individuality was completely supressed.
On the contrary, in the East, we have always had a vast amount of individuality and opportunities of personal expression. Sometimes, unfortunately, you see this distored due to Western influences and a mis-interpretation by the Orthodox of history.
The Eastern Church is "conciliar" in nature. It is not a "top-down" structure, but rather a conciliar structure in which the great diversity we see in the Holy Eccumenical Counsils of ancient fame are what leads and guides the Church.
Why did the Eccumenical Council's meet? To pinpoint specific comonalities in the faith, and publicly exclude those abberations that were not true to the Historic Faith. They met together and agreed on specific comonalities (we have these things in the proclamations and canons of the Holy councils) and then left EVERYTHING else to the individual Bishops to work out in their own areas of jurisdiction. Thus the Church came together on things it agreed were the common elements of the Faith, and let local practice continue for every other area of life and spirituality.
Unfortunatlely, the Greeks (and to some extent the Russians) instead have modeled the West, thinking that if they did EVERYTHING the same, everywhere, it would provide some sort of cohesion in the Church. It does not. Instead, when inforced comonality is practiced it causes divisions.
God in His infinite Wisdom knows that we have need of diversity in worship, diversity in life and even to a certain degree in practice. There are formal guidlines that we adhere to: for example, the feasts and the fasts, the scripture readings (and even those are diverse within various jurisdictions), and certain aspects of life like how we participate in the sacraments. And yet there is a broad amount of diversity. When you go into an Orthodox Church you find there a far greater number of different ways that you may participate in worship than what you find in any other Church. You may participate simply by standing still and gazing at various icons. You may participate by venerating your favorite icons, or the reclics of your favorite Saints. You may light candles and place them in whatever candlestand you like, in front of icons that they or the saint depicted are especially meaningful to you. You may lift your hands in worship, you may kneel (see note below), you may do prostrations, and if you are feeling weary, you may sit. Yes, I forgot to mention: you may stand. :) You may sing along with the Choir or you may simply listen. There is no pressure to "conform". Worship is as personal as it is corporate. There are only three points in the service where you "must" do something, and that is: a) recite the creed, b) recite the Lord's Prayer, and c) recite the prayer before communion. And even then, you only, "must" do those things if you are planning on participating in communion that day.
There are other musts: you must keep the fast, you must celebrate the feasts, you must prepare for communion. But most of the "musts" have relative aspects to them. Everyone keeps the fast the best he/she can in whatever way he has discussed with his priest. Everyone celebrates the feasts likewise. And everyone does different things to prepare for communion - recites different prayers, and uses different rules for practices while preparing.
God knows and appreciates that we are all different.
That's why a "top-down" formal sort of structure was not given to the Christian Church. Rather, every Church that is a part of the Only, Holy and Apostolic Church throughout the world, practices in its own way. The top-down aberrancy in the West is what has caused Western man to cry out (even struggle) for diversity.
When there are rules as related to practice in the Orthodox Church, those rules are based on things deeply inportant to the expression of Christian Faith, the spiritual life of the Christian, and the timeless-presence-in-time of the Church. An example (from my "seen note below" above) is that of kneeling. You cannot kneel on Sundays. Why? Sundays is the great and glorious day of the Resurrection, and you should not kneel, but rather, stand, joyously. That is such an important point of our Faith, that the Church in her God-given Wisdom has ruled this "break" in the individual aspect of expressing our Worship.
So, in conclusion. Don't be confused if you walk into an Orthodox Church and see everyone doing exactly the same thing. It's because they have not overcome the "top-down" conceptions in the errant western mindset. For example, there is no "rule" that you must file forward in a single line venerating all the icons when you enter the Church. Out of respect when you enter a Church, you are supposed to venerate the icon in the center. In my opinion, I actually happen to appreciate those at our own Church, who I see going backward "in the line" - because they (in my opinion) are doing the "right thing" - not all the rest of us who are filed, orderly in a single line going from icon to icon as if it were all mindless repetition.
I can say the same things about crossing yourself and so on. The practice is to cross yourself when you hear "Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." But many also cross themselves when they hear "blessed..." and some cross themselves on every Lord Have Mercy. The fact of the practice is that it is diverse. There is a whole plethora of things we can do in worship, ways we can express ourselves. And we need not trouble ourselves over: "am I doing it right?" That is the aberation of the Western mindset speaking.
Regards!
~Fly~
Veith tells us that postmodernists value diversity and there can be little doubt that the culture creating forces of our society today are striving to ingrain in us the “smiley-happy” slogan that pleads with us to “Celebrate Diversity.” Now, don’t get me wrong I have no qualms with people being diverse, but I am not convinced that it is always something to be celebrated…rather often it might be something we should lament – especially within the church.
James:
It's a great article, but by the way I disagree a little bit about the above.
And here's why...
I believe that the postmodern "rebellion" of individualism that you see in the West is a natural and unavoidable result of the aberrant structure of Western Christianity. Namely, in the West Christianity became a "top-down" religious organization where everything flowed from the Pope and the Magisterium. This created a dynamic in which individuality was completely supressed.
On the contrary, in the East, we have always had a vast amount of individuality and opportunities of personal expression. Sometimes, unfortunately, you see this distored due to Western influences and a mis-interpretation by the Orthodox of history.
The Eastern Church is "conciliar" in nature. It is not a "top-down" structure, but rather a conciliar structure in which the great diversity we see in the Holy Eccumenical Counsils of ancient fame are what leads and guides the Church.
Why did the Eccumenical Council's meet? To pinpoint specific comonalities in the faith, and publicly exclude those abberations that were not true to the Historic Faith. They met together and agreed on specific comonalities (we have these things in the proclamations and canons of the Holy councils) and then left EVERYTHING else to the individual Bishops to work out in their own areas of jurisdiction. Thus the Church came together on things it agreed were the common elements of the Faith, and let local practice continue for every other area of life and spirituality.
Unfortunatlely, the Greeks (and to some extent the Russians) instead have modeled the West, thinking that if they did EVERYTHING the same, everywhere, it would provide some sort of cohesion in the Church. It does not. Instead, when inforced comonality is practiced it causes divisions.
God in His infinite Wisdom knows that we have need of diversity in worship, diversity in life and even to a certain degree in practice. There are formal guidlines that we adhere to: for example, the feasts and the fasts, the scripture readings (and even those are diverse within various jurisdictions), and certain aspects of life like how we participate in the sacraments. And yet there is a broad amount of diversity. When you go into an Orthodox Church you find there a far greater number of different ways that you may participate in worship than what you find in any other Church. You may participate simply by standing still and gazing at various icons. You may participate by venerating your favorite icons, or the reclics of your favorite Saints. You may light candles and place them in whatever candlestand you like, in front of icons that they or the saint depicted are especially meaningful to you. You may lift your hands in worship, you may kneel (see note below), you may do prostrations, and if you are feeling weary, you may sit. Yes, I forgot to mention: you may stand. :) You may sing along with the Choir or you may simply listen. There is no pressure to "conform". Worship is as personal as it is corporate. There are only three points in the service where you "must" do something, and that is: a) recite the creed, b) recite the Lord's Prayer, and c) recite the prayer before communion. And even then, you only, "must" do those things if you are planning on participating in communion that day.
There are other musts: you must keep the fast, you must celebrate the feasts, you must prepare for communion. But most of the "musts" have relative aspects to them. Everyone keeps the fast the best he/she can in whatever way he has discussed with his priest. Everyone celebrates the feasts likewise. And everyone does different things to prepare for communion - recites different prayers, and uses different rules for practices while preparing.
God knows and appreciates that we are all different.
That's why a "top-down" formal sort of structure was not given to the Christian Church. Rather, every Church that is a part of the Only, Holy and Apostolic Church throughout the world, practices in its own way. The top-down aberrancy in the West is what has caused Western man to cry out (even struggle) for diversity.
When there are rules as related to practice in the Orthodox Church, those rules are based on things deeply inportant to the expression of Christian Faith, the spiritual life of the Christian, and the timeless-presence-in-time of the Church. An example (from my "seen note below" above) is that of kneeling. You cannot kneel on Sundays. Why? Sundays is the great and glorious day of the Resurrection, and you should not kneel, but rather, stand, joyously. That is such an important point of our Faith, that the Church in her God-given Wisdom has ruled this "break" in the individual aspect of expressing our Worship.
So, in conclusion. Don't be confused if you walk into an Orthodox Church and see everyone doing exactly the same thing. It's because they have not overcome the "top-down" conceptions in the errant western mindset. For example, there is no "rule" that you must file forward in a single line venerating all the icons when you enter the Church. Out of respect when you enter a Church, you are supposed to venerate the icon in the center. In my opinion, I actually happen to appreciate those at our own Church, who I see going backward "in the line" - because they (in my opinion) are doing the "right thing" - not all the rest of us who are filed, orderly in a single line going from icon to icon as if it were all mindless repetition.
I can say the same things about crossing yourself and so on. The practice is to cross yourself when you hear "Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." But many also cross themselves when they hear "blessed..." and some cross themselves on every Lord Have Mercy. The fact of the practice is that it is diverse. There is a whole plethora of things we can do in worship, ways we can express ourselves. And we need not trouble ourselves over: "am I doing it right?" That is the aberation of the Western mindset speaking.
Regards!
~Fly~
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
Well, I had a chuckle this morning. As I was driving past one of those Protestant Mega-Churches on my way in to work this morning, I noticed what their billboard said:
Living A Biblical Lifestyle
... and that with times and dates for some sort of lecture series.
And I thought about it for a minute... hmmm... living a Biblical Livestyle...
You could get ARRESTED for living a Biblical Lifestyle!
Images of David with his hundreds of wives came to mind.
Or even some of the lesser Patriarchs with their many, many wives, concubines, etc.
I wonder what they are teaching in this seminar...
And it isn't just women. I believe you could find just about any lifestyle under the sun in the Bible.
Do we really want our children to live a Biblical lifestyle?
~ Cheers! ~fly-by Fly~
Living A Biblical Lifestyle
... and that with times and dates for some sort of lecture series.
And I thought about it for a minute... hmmm... living a Biblical Livestyle...
You could get ARRESTED for living a Biblical Lifestyle!
Images of David with his hundreds of wives came to mind.
Or even some of the lesser Patriarchs with their many, many wives, concubines, etc.
I wonder what they are teaching in this seminar...
And it isn't just women. I believe you could find just about any lifestyle under the sun in the Bible.
Do we really want our children to live a Biblical lifestyle?
~ Cheers! ~fly-by Fly~
Tuesday, February 04, 2003
Well, so I haven't had much to say lately. Basically that's because my brain is being slowly fried in a frying pan (like scrambled eggs) by several things:
* a more advanced C++ Class I'm taking at a local community college..
* spending too much time staying up late at night play AOE2
* still trying to get over a "cold" (sinus infection, cold, allergies?, the BLAH!) that I've had for nearly two months now...
Anyway, here is something interesting:
From the "Buddhist Quote for the Day" - something I get from "Belief Net" www.beliefnet.com.
I think that there is wisdom to be found all over this world. God's wisdom. Even the Buddhists' have some of it. (My apologies to the "conservative" Christian out there who thinks that all the rest of the world is filled with morons who have nothing "wise" to offer.)
Anyway, it's this:
Whatever attitudes we habitually use toward ourselves, we will use on others, and whatever attitudes we habitually use toward others, we will use on ourselves. The situation is comparable to our serving food to ourselves and to other people from the same bowl. Everyone ends up eating the same thing--we must examine carefully what we are dishing out.
-Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, "Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness"
I like that. It reminds me of what Jesus said: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." But it also probes even deeper. It talks about attitude. There is one thing I have noticed, if you have a crummy attitude, it comes out in everything you do. If you have a superficial attitude, that likewise comes out in everything you do. If you have a negative attitude, that also comes out in everything you do. If you have an annoying attitude, you will annoy others. Some "positive people" are very annoying... because they shove it in your face all the time about how fancy-dancy-happy-go-luck-positive(ly-annoying) they are. So, I'm not promoting the head in the coulds Norman Vincent Peale thing here either.
What strikes me as a good attitude to have toward life?
I think I've been toying with the two concepts:
a) The jovial, but simple, percepton. That is: life is a great pleasure to live and I'm having a good time - you can tell by the smile in my face (but I won't be annoying you about it.) This is what I think you find in Dostoyevsky's "The Idiot".
b) The noble perception. Yes, the more I think about it... all the things as Christians that God has called us and created us to be are tied up with the simple concept of nobility. Nobility of soul. Nobility of purpose. Nobility of spirit.
Nobility of soul is the ability to face any situation and remain calm, to face any calamity and remain thankful to God. It is the ability to speak or think about anything, without being shaken. The Noble spirit is kind to others, does not think more highly of himself than he ought to, and yet at the same time is NOT a festering-open-wound of negativity. When you are sorry for your sins, you are simply sorry for them, you don't wallow in their mire.
Anyway, that's my thought for the day. Perhaps it is enough for a week, a month or a year. If I would like to "become" anything that I can clearly define, it is "to become Noble."
~Basil-Fly~
* a more advanced C++ Class I'm taking at a local community college..
* spending too much time staying up late at night play AOE2
* still trying to get over a "cold" (sinus infection, cold, allergies?, the BLAH!) that I've had for nearly two months now...
Anyway, here is something interesting:
From the "Buddhist Quote for the Day" - something I get from "Belief Net" www.beliefnet.com.
I think that there is wisdom to be found all over this world. God's wisdom. Even the Buddhists' have some of it. (My apologies to the "conservative" Christian out there who thinks that all the rest of the world is filled with morons who have nothing "wise" to offer.)
Anyway, it's this:
Whatever attitudes we habitually use toward ourselves, we will use on others, and whatever attitudes we habitually use toward others, we will use on ourselves. The situation is comparable to our serving food to ourselves and to other people from the same bowl. Everyone ends up eating the same thing--we must examine carefully what we are dishing out.
-Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, "Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness"
I like that. It reminds me of what Jesus said: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." But it also probes even deeper. It talks about attitude. There is one thing I have noticed, if you have a crummy attitude, it comes out in everything you do. If you have a superficial attitude, that likewise comes out in everything you do. If you have a negative attitude, that also comes out in everything you do. If you have an annoying attitude, you will annoy others. Some "positive people" are very annoying... because they shove it in your face all the time about how fancy-dancy-happy-go-luck-positive(ly-annoying) they are. So, I'm not promoting the head in the coulds Norman Vincent Peale thing here either.
What strikes me as a good attitude to have toward life?
I think I've been toying with the two concepts:
a) The jovial, but simple, percepton. That is: life is a great pleasure to live and I'm having a good time - you can tell by the smile in my face (but I won't be annoying you about it.) This is what I think you find in Dostoyevsky's "The Idiot".
b) The noble perception. Yes, the more I think about it... all the things as Christians that God has called us and created us to be are tied up with the simple concept of nobility. Nobility of soul. Nobility of purpose. Nobility of spirit.
Nobility of soul is the ability to face any situation and remain calm, to face any calamity and remain thankful to God. It is the ability to speak or think about anything, without being shaken. The Noble spirit is kind to others, does not think more highly of himself than he ought to, and yet at the same time is NOT a festering-open-wound of negativity. When you are sorry for your sins, you are simply sorry for them, you don't wallow in their mire.
Anyway, that's my thought for the day. Perhaps it is enough for a week, a month or a year. If I would like to "become" anything that I can clearly define, it is "to become Noble."
~Basil-Fly~
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
I found a really cool advertisement...
To view the advertisement:
Real Media
MPEG for Broadband
Quicktime
MP3 of the audio only...
To download an mpg copy of it:
http://www.moveon.org/daisy/DaisyH.mpg
~fly~
To view the advertisement:
Real Media
MPEG for Broadband
Quicktime
MP3 of the audio only...
To download an mpg copy of it:
http://www.moveon.org/daisy/DaisyH.mpg
~fly~
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